State of the Proxy, June 2008
One of the main reasons that I decided to go on hiatus was my preparation for JLPT2. One day I was counting how many kanji I actually recognized and I realized I couldn’t even get half of the about 1000 kanji needed/required of JLPT2. And it stressed me out. ‘I won’t accept failure’, ‘I want to pass on the first try’, that’s what I thought. But the fact that I was stressed affected my studies–I was worrying too much and what I studied wasn’t retained in my head. Now I’ve learned to relax a little and trying to study more effectively instead of the usual rote learning style. I still hate the idea of failing but I’ve come to accept that possibility. It’s not the end of the world if I fail.
Now for the other reason, remember this post?
Yes I have been trying to right things but then I realized, change doesn’t happen overnight. There’s so much I want to do it’s almost overwhelming. I began to question the time I spent on anime. Hence the almost month-long hiatus, my longest so far.
But don’t worry, I’ve decided to stick to blogging anime. Why? All work and no anime makes me a dull girl lol. You can say that anime won’t drive my problems away (which by the way are mostly emotional), but not watching anime won’t drastically change things either. During the time I wasn’t blogging my productivity should shoot up, right? No, unfortunately it didn’t. In fact, my outlet of self-expression was one lesser. But I will try to change some things.
First, I’ll probably cut back on reading surfing websites. I get bogged down reading useless stuff, aptly called information overload.
Second, I’m cutting back on the anime I watch. Which means, stricter standards. Whatever that means.
So, while I’m trying to find the perfect balance to work, recreation/anime, relationships, and self-improvement, this blog will live on.
To rant another day.
Mission Impossible? I hope not. 😀